GLOBAL WHATTING?

The skies weep, my garden is a hankie.

And the rain it raineth,

still falls the rain,

it’s raining, its pouring,

the old man is snoring -

enough of the quotes

and I am told on good authority that I have been known to snore occasionally (every night!)

Giant Despair is at the door.

It has rained for 10 hours and is forecast to do so for another 24.

The lawns are waterlogged and unmown - 'Keep off the Grass' definitely applies - not that there is much grass left in many places, just moss, mud and reeds.

On a better note the blackcurrants, rhubarb and watercress (we cannot eat it because of the danger of flukes) have thrived,

BUT -

all else is crop flop.

The asparagus failed, leeks have bolted, beetroot and parsnips would not germinate and, go away to Herefordshire for 5 days, and slugs, snails and caterpillars have stripped the sprouts and kale.

Wooden steps and fence posts rot and the boardwalk is unsafe - the BOG garden is superquaggy.

This is the worst summer I can remember - and it has been cold with far too little sunshine - figs and squashes - Ha!

We do have four damsons, eight plums, three apples, no pears, no greengages and no figs.

There is mildew on the purple prunus - so it looks pink, the leaves have fallen off many of the roses, three amelanchiers are dead and the oak in the lawn is turning early.

Weeds thrive, long grass is unstrimmed so bulbs are not being planted.

So I will make blackcurrant jam with fruit from the freezer - but I am on a slimming diet so cannot eat it!

Moan, moan, moan!

So only one cure - go to Avanti in Kirkby Lonsdale for lunch with wife, sister-in-law and her husband. (Must take a brolly).

Salad for me - (the chives have done well.) 

The wellies are at rest.